Losing Faith In The Human Race

I feel so discouraged today. I have said for years that there is nothing that a human being could do that would surprise me. Until recently, that statement held true. I have seen both ends of the human spectrum over the past week. I have experienced great kindness and support from a complete stranger and massive cruelness from someone that I believed cared about me.
I am bringing this up because I believe it has affected my game. I have had the worst run at poker over the past week. I am unsure as to whether it is variance or my inabilty to completely focus on my game. We shall see.
So, last night was another all nighter. I tried so hard to start off on the right foot. There was really no one at my table at first to flirt with so, I flirted with the only man that I could. Things started off on a downswing. I could not pick up a decent hand! I finally pick up 2 red Qs, raise, get 4 callers and the flop is K high all clubs! So I am in at this point for $600 when I pick up pocket As in the bb. There is a local on the button and he is seriously tilting off his money. He just tried to run a $450 bluff on a calling station. I have too much compassion for these types of people, I really do. I need to just let their crazy asses give away all of their money. But, NOOOOO, I have to try and be their savior. Well, never again! So, asshole raises his button to $25, sb folds, I pop it to $100 and say, Michael...I have As. What the fuck does he do?....he calls! Anyway, long story short, he wipes me out. The funniest thing about the whole story is right after, he says....hey Jess, we're still friends right? I politely say, Fuck No! we're not friends anymore and then I change tables.
So, I am in for 1k...and THANK GOD for miracles. One of my favorite dealers, Jake, sits down at my table. First off, he is hella sexy....blond hair, baby blue eyes, this super long soft eyelashes, very flirty.....*sigh* I ask him to please turn the cards around...I dont have to wait long. This table is a total limpfest...if anyone ever raises ..it is to $15. I am dealt Q/10d utg and limp. Normally, I dont like playing this hand UTG but if I have to call a raise of $10, Im fine with that.
Flop is 9d/Jd/7c! Nice flop for me, I would say! The flop gets checked around. The turn is 8s. The Sb bets $25, I raise to $60(dont want to lose anyone here). He calls. River is 4d. Sb checks..I bet $100 and he calls...shows the lone 10 and I rake in a nice pot. I wish that I had put out a small, pot building bet on the flop. I have been trying to work on bet sizing and pot building lately. This hand, I will rate as a C+.
So, I dont play another hand until my button. I pick up Ad/Kh and raise to $25. A MP limper calls. Flop is K46 all diamonds....Jake is on fire! The caller donks into me...$45! I decide to just call. I dont want to lose K/Q, K/J here. Turn is 7c. He donks again for $45. I pop it to $120 and he calls! River is a 10d! He checks, I bet $150 and he calls without a diamond in his hand!
Our table breaks and we disperse. I choose this table that is full of internet donkeys. I could hear them from my table talking about how bad live players are, spouting SPR, and using words like fold equity and value, and talking about how bad Phil Ivey plays. *eyeroll*
I dont get involved in too many hands. I folded pre 2 hands where I would have flopped the nuts and won massive pots. 20/20.
There is a straddle on almost every pot....not me of course...I prefer a different type of live straddle....if you know what I mean. Geez...I sound horrible...can you tell that it has been awhile??!!??
I pick up A/Qh in MP and raise. 2 callers. Flop is Q high 2 hearts! Yay me...I bet a 3/4 sized bet A wee high, I know but I know that this guy would call if he had a Q or any drawing hand and I wanted him to think that I was protecting my hand against the flush draw. Turn is an A. This is where I might have misstepped. I bet about 2/3 of the pot. He folded. After thinking about this later...I think that I should have checked the A...let him think that it was a scare card and maybe he could bluff the little live girl player off of the pot. Hmmm.
SO...sitting doing nothing, trying not to fall asleep at the table....I seriously have no stamina anymore. I am dealt Q/9s on the button. I raise. The SB reraises me...weel, so much for stealing the blinds! The BB calls, so I decide to call as well...didnt want them to think that I was stealing!
Flop is Ks/Qd/8s. The SB bets 1/3 of the pot!!???!!! The BB folds. I calls. Turn is the 10s. Sb checks. At this point, I am confused. I am thinking A/K maybe a set of Ks...I bet 3/4 of the pot. Then he starts talking....asking "why so much"..."how much do you have behind"? He then calls. River is a 3c. He checks...and this is where I totally lose it...wtf am I thinking???? I look at him...think about the talking and sitting with the 2nd fucking nuts, I CHECK! He shows a set of Ks!!!! I could have easily gotten another hundred or so out of him!!!
So, at this point, I decide that I have played way past my expiration date and call it a night(or morning if you wanna get technical).
So, I leave dead even....I suppose that I should be happy that I fought my way back from a $1000 deficit but I'm not. I am not happy about alot of things right now and I think that it has seriously impacted poker.
I have never felt so disillusioned.