I Suck

I have got to get out of my head!!! Why can I not do this??? For 6 hours...why can't I just tune out the constant.....shit streaming through my brain?
Anyway, despite the above statement...I actually made money last night. $320...and once again, I had to fight back from a huge deficit to get there. One of my first hands, I pick up KK in the BB. A MP tourist from Orlando(that I had spoken with earlier and I could tell was very inexperienced) had raised to $25. I reraise to $60. He calls. Flop is AAK. I check, he bets, I call. Turn is a 10. I check, he bets, I raise, he goes all in, I call. He shows A/7. River, of course is a 7. Standard:(
Moving on. There was this guy in the 10 seat( I was in the 1 seat) that was just a whale. He owns a bunch of bar-b-que restaurants here. He was also a downright awful poker player. Thank God, for him or I might not have ever made it into the black. He chased(and bet) any draw. He raised with any 2 high cards, any pocket pr. I have a 3 hour run of 9/2, so I ask for a new setup. I know, I know....I hate people that do this too but I thought that psychologically, it might help me out a bit. The first hand after the switch, I get QQ utg in a straddled pot. I raise to $40. Mr Barbque calls(of course, he never folds pre) Flop is 10 high, 2 spades. He donks into me for $50, I raise to $150 and he folds. Then this hand comes up and God, I could have murdered this drunk guy at the table! I raise to $35 in the BB with JJ. Barbque calls. Flop is 9dJd4s. I bet $60 and Mr Bbq(very drunk at this point) says...I have a J...A/K is no good. Turn is 6c. He checks, I say..all in( I have like $600 behind)...he asks me how much??? Im in heaven. I pushed because I know that if he does in fact have a J, he will call. Then this old fucker at the table says..."what are you doing...she can beat a J" so, he folds!!! Why would anyone ever think that it was ok to say something like this???
So, our table breaks and I move to this table that has this awful lady from the night before...seriously, she never folded! She went through $2k in about 2 hours the previous night, so I made sure that I sat right to her left. I pick up about $100 by limping with 5/7c. The flop is Kc5sJc. Checked around...turn is 5d. SB bets $30, I raise to $75. He calls. River is a 6d. He checks, I check. He shows a busted 6 high flush draw.
Then the miracle of all hands..how this won, I will never know.
I limp with K/9c on the button. Flop is 9/8/5, 2 diamonds. The bbq guy bets $30, crazy lady calls, I have no clue where I am right now and I know that I have a look of befuddlement on my face because the super tight SB says, (with $30 in his hand, ready to make the call) "I know...what do they have??" So I call, SB calls and then a MP guy calls! The really hard thing about playing with really bad players is that you can NEVER put them on a hand. I am so completely lost at this point. Turn, thankfully, is the Ks. I think that is a good card for me but with the way these guys are playing...who knows, right? BBq bets $100, crazy lady calls, I announce very loudly, RAISE. I throw 3 $100 bills in. SB folds, as does MP calling station. BBq says, "uh oh, I know what that means". He folds. Then crazy lady calls(she is now all in). I dodge a diamond on the river and rake in a nice pot.
I then leave. It is now 3:30am and I am whooped.

Poker is beginning to feel like a bad, argumentative relationship for me. It just seems like so much work lately. Is it worth all of the fighting and arguing for the occasional night of good sex?
I already have one of those relationships in my life(minus the sex part)....do I really want another?